Centaurs can't Masturbate.

No seriously - think about it for a second.

A centuar, for the three people who haven't seen Narnia or Harry Potter, is a mythical creature with the body of a horse and the head and torso of a man (or woman presumably, although you don't tend to see them in the kids movies). The torso of the man part of the centaur replaces the head and neck of the horse.

http://images.google.com/images?question=centaur&q=centaur%0D%0A&ie=ISO-8859-1&hl=en

Now imagine you're standing naked in your room and you're about to masturbate - only for some reason, no matter which way you turn, your penis is about 1.5 meters behind you.

Well, this is the plight that the centaur faces every evening. And while it's a well known fact that centaurs have no difficulty getting laid (with other centaurs and humans alike aparently), on the cold lonely nights when they're too busy or its too cold to go out, the centaur cannot reach to pleasure him (or her) self.

So tonight when you're lying in bed polishing your torpedo, spare a thought for the poor centuar and give it a couple of jerks for him.